A Day in the Life of the Munzka

It's amazing to me that even though this happens at least five times a week I still feel regret. And for as many times as it happens I still haven't come up with a smooth way to get the girl out of my bed in the morning. Here I am, wide awake, trying to remember who this chic is curled up beside me. It's ridiculous.

Munzka and Neal gettin' juiced

Luckily the phone rings. Normally I wouldn't jump out of bed for the phone but it seemed like the perfect opportunity. "Hello... Really?... Okay, I'll be right there". I hang up the phone to see that the chic was sitting up with my sheets pulled up over her chest and a stupid look on her face.

"Who was that?", she said.

"That was Steve. He said that Neal didn't show up for work and they can't find him so I've got to go down to the park right away". She was good about it. She packs up her shit and leaves. In reality it was a wrong number. Even half drunk I'm a pretty quick thinker.

So after she left I jumped in the shower for the usual crab test. Everything looks clean but I'm scrubbin' extra hard cuz this chic was kinda gnarly. Once out of the shower I notice that my buzz is wearing off so I chug a quick couple beers. It's two in the afternoon now so I should plan my day.

B-Show gives the Munzka approval

The phone rings again only this time it's not a wrong number. It's B-Show (Chad Benson). He reminds me of this party that's going on tonight. He keeps telling me about some girl that has been asking about me. I tell him that they all do. So before hanging up he asks me to call up Benji and remind him, too. Whatever.

"Hello?"

"What's up, Benji"

"Who is this?"

"It's the Munzka, dipshit".

"What do you want?"

"No, Benji, there isn't room for one more"

"Hey, that party is tonight. Remember where it is?"

"Yea, I remember. Hopefully you'll leave some pussy for me this time."

After a short nap I wake up to the sound of my doorbell ringing. I look up and it's 11:00PM and my ride to the party is here. A quick look in the mirror, rub some deodorant on the outside of my tee shirt and I'm out. Before locking my front door I do the usual check list. Shoes, wallet, keys, and rubbers. Got 'em.

We pull up at the party and it's defiantly thumpin'. I make my way to the keg and scope out the chicks that decided to show up. Some weren't bad. They were all do-able. Before I even get a sip of beer in me this girl is practically on top of me. So she stands around talking while I go for several re-fills. Once the blood is nice and thin I tell her to wait right there while I mingle. So I ask around to see if she's anyones girlfriend or sister, cuz they're always more fun to bang, but unfortunately she wasn't. The more beer the more better and I'm gettin' jacked up so I go back to the keg and ask her if she's got a car.

So as I'm laying here trying to remember what this girls name is that's sleeping in my bed next to me I wonder, how the hell am I going to get out of this?

THIS STORY IS COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. WELL, MOST OF IT.