by Ryan Damian

Neal & the Munz

February 23, 2001:

I got a call early Friday morning from one, Neal Erikson regarding a trip to the Four Seasons Skatepark in exotic Milwaukee, WI that had been planned for the following day. The call went something like this (more or less):

Neal: "Ryan? Erikson here. Listen buddy, we've got a serious low pressure system comin' our way that might make for some pretty shaky driving. I suggest we bounce later today."

Me: "Chill."

Neal: "Word."

Us: "Out." --click.

So after several hours of hunting people down and letting them know about the new plans for early departure, I got a call from Mike "The Munzka" Munzenrider. My memory's a little hazy but I believe that call went something like this:

Mike: "Rizzle? It's The Mizzle. We're ready to bizzle. Be there in a sizzle."

Me: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle." ­click (translation: - I'm coming to pick you up. - OK.)

Munzie and his buddie

In no more than a half an hour, Munzy was at my house and we were on our way to pick up the notorious Twin Cities lensman, Benji "Playbirds" Meyer. On our way back to his house Munzy thought it might be nice to grab some smokes in near by Dinky Town. Upon entering the store we were overwhelmed by variety of dirts in stock, however, the choice was clear as day to Munzy and Me...The Camel Keg. Yeah, that's right a keg of cigarettes. Keg parties will never be the same. So, once we had the smokes and The Meyer we were jet set ready to meet up with the rest of the crew and be on our way.

Now, I don't know if any of you have ever made the trip from Minneapolis to Milwaukee, but, I assure you it will be one of the driest, most uneventful journeys you will ever make. So, as far as driving goes, Playbirds and me drove with The Munzka while The DOLO (aka Ryan Hansen) and The B-Show (aka Chad Benson) bitched it up in Teenage's (aka Neal Erikson) whip. Other posse members included Wayne Zerr and Emeric "Olu" Pratt who drove up earlier on there own. The most notable moment on the drive up, aside from exchanging stories of drunken madness and shameful sexual acts, was when Benji bought a three pack of porno mags at a gas station, one of which was entitled Playbirds... hence the nickname. I wish I had more to say about the drive, but like I said, there wasn't much goin' on.

Somewhere along the line, the two cars got split up and we were forced to stay in different hotels. Now lets see... Me, Munzy, and Birds stayed in the luxurious Excel Inn while the rest of the crew shacked up in a Motel 6 just a few miles down. Normally I wouldn't even bring the whole hotel situation up, 'cause its just not that important, but, it was there that Munzy blessed us with two of the most amazing quotes ever heard by human ears:

Ryan doing god knows what...

Here's the situation- Mike was peering over Benji's shoulder looking at, none other than, the infamous Playbirds porno when he made note of a naked Puerto Rican girl and enlightened us with this banger:

"Dude, you can tell she's had a kid....I think that's what the brown nipples generally indicate. Right?"

Pure poetry. The next Munzka jewel was spit when he found out that there was no shampoo in the room. That went a little something like this:

"Shit dude, there's no shampoo. Benji do you have any hot oils?"

Amazing. I apologize if you all didn't find either of those funny, but, I suppose it was a "had to be there" situation.

The next day we all met up at Four Season's Skatepark, which if I do say so myself, was pretty damn impressive. Aside from the 9.3 billion adolescent skaters and bikers causing mass accidents and severely injuring one another, the park was extremely large and very well put together. If you have a moment I highly suggest you hop over to www.4seasonssk8park.com and check all the specifics. They seriously have anything and everything that you would ever want to skate, minus a vert ramp.... but rumor has it they might be something in the works..... Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, keep that on the low.

Chad Benson and the B-Show

Ok, Ok, now for the bangers. It took everyone a little while to get warmed up but once the ball was rollin' there was noooooooooooooooooooo stopin' it. Such was the case with the infamous Chad "B-Show" Benson. To start off the kid crooked the wrong way UP a handrail off a bump and over a gap. Whoa. Then he proceeded to do every flip trick imaginable off the very same bump-to-gap. All of this, however, was just the beginning. The ultra Benson bangers occurred in the after hours session when he proceeded to backside tail slide a RIB HIGH box off of a moderate sized bump (peep the photo). Then with a little more effort, "The Show" K/F B/S T/S'd (kick flip backside tail slid for all Œyall non-believers) the fucker. Other mega bangers included Olu's fronside nose slide, frontside nose grind, and wallie tail slide across the very same Big Box. DOLO went the distance with a switch tre, and switch hard flip over the pyramid, along with a gaggle of other tricks that I can't quite remember. Munzy, Erikson and Zerr did their fair share of destroying the park as well.

The ride home was even less eventful than the ride there due to the fact that it was super early in the morning and everyone was just burnt from the night before. Essentially that's what went down. All and all I thought it was a very productive, very enjoyable trip.

I would personally like to thank all of my homies, The Motel 6, The Excel Inn, everyone at Diamond Beer and Camel Cigarettes, Jessica and Kayla for hooking me up with the kisses (Hershey's that is) after I saved them from certain doom, and everyone at Four Seasons Skatepark and Phaze II Skateshop for being super hospitable to all us out-of-towners. A special shout out goes to Ben Vance for pushin' the late night session, and I'd like to send out a big 'ol FUCK U to a really shitty girl named Megan in Baltimore who bummed me out more than ever. I found someone way cooler, bitch!!! Hey Leslie!!!

Thanks,
-- RD

PS: That guy Neil at 4 Seasons is kind of a kook so watch out for him. Other than that everything was great. PEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEE!!