By The Badger

THIS CLIP IS LIKE 8 MEGS AND FUCKING GROSS. CLICK THE BADGER TO VIEW

I have recently moved to Oakland, CA and was able to fit right in with my very own staph infection. It was great! I was the envy of the whole block. People were so jealous of my medallion sized boil on my leg, that they kept asking how they could get one to. So i decided put together these simple steps so you to could be as cool as me.

1. Move to a highly toxic environment ( Northern California is a perfect breading ground for infections)
2. Skate all the grimy skate spots of the city and make sure that you sweat a lot.
3. continue your daily couch surfing and lurking routines around the city.
4. By this point you should be getting ingrown hairs on your body. (if not, well you are just not trying hard enough)
5. It is time to pop those pesky things and leave them exposed.
6. put back on the same pants that you have been skating in for the last week and go out skating all day.( with the combo of the dirty pants and the irritation of them on your open sore you should be well on your way)
7. WA-LA! in just a few days you should have nice purple circle on your leg.
8. Now, after you made everyone jealous it is time for the fun part...the doctor! (watch as he slices you leg open and drains all the puss and blood out. Then shove 2 ft of gauze into you leg, it is great!)

12/24/02